Perasaan Aku

Dah lame da bende yang same org dok cakap....aku rase muak..letih nak jawab....bukan org tak tau..saje2 nak tanye seolah2 dalam tak sedar wat aku nak mara....da 2 tahun aku kawen ni....belom ader rezki lagi nak dpt anak....tapi aku tak pernah soalkan ketentuan allah.....org yang dok bertanya and dok bergosip tu..sudah2 la......zuriat ni allah swt yang bagi...bukan hak aku nak kate....buleh atau tak buleh...tapi kalau sape2 dari keluarga ko yang takder anak..macamane ko rase? same aje.....tapi manusia memang selalu macam tu...dtg nak temuduga pun sempat lagi mengumpat pasal aku...walhal secare ideal nyer...aku tak penah pedulik pun pasal ko....ko keje ke..ko tanam anggur ke..keluarga ko tonggang langgang ke...mane aku amik tau...jadi wlu pun kejadian ni da lame berlalu....tapi hati aku tak senang lagi...ape korang pedulik pun....zuriat ni nanti jadi anak ko ke? so kalo ko tak pedulik...jgn bukak mulut tanye pasal kisah aku....kite tak tahu masa depan tu macamane? jgn lupe....munkin skang ni korang senang dan segalanya...tapi satu hari allah nak tarik balik..mase tu siape korang nak marahkan....itu la..manusia ni kalu bercakap tak berpada2...bile cakap tu...tak terbukak pun hati nak buat amal jariah...tapi takpe la...aku tak payah doa2 kan pun...org teraniya tu allah selalu tolong...of coz..aku bukan alim ulama pun....tapi aku takkan amik port tentang relationship korang...so jgn amik tau la personal aku....tak pandai jadi mak la..takde aura mak laa....hisy...mane korang tau....jgn buat andaian la kalu tak tahu...tapi kalau korang nak tambah dosa...silakan..after all kubur masing2..lagi banyak dosa korang buat..bukan aku tanggung pun.....huhu...

The News

not so wonderful news...but still its a news..and what I am quite dissapointed is that it doesn't goes as plan...and even when I say I am okay with it..deep down...its actually making me sad...not the normal sad when I feel I am lonely or anything but sad that makes me lethargic...makes me unenergized....I hate this feelings...this 2011 was suppose to be my year to pay all my debts and making sure that this will be a debt free year....but then it doesn't look like I am going to do just that...I hate this feeling..it won't buzz offf....even when I told myself that its good enough but deep down inside..the 1 year of performance does not mean a things...people would say be patient next year will be you year bull shit..If I am that good this year should be a good year....well whatever it is..this year I will ensure that I bought everything that I want to buy....I just don;'t want to think bout other people's problems...who cares bout them..it my time..its my money...no one have control on them so I hate those people who always bugs me with all the problems in the world esp money...to hell with them..I hate them so much that I feel like living them....
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