I am not sure whether u are like me or not...but me...the truth bout me is that I am always afraid of being a failure.....but is that me? whenever I did try sumething new for example sports...I am afraid that I will failled better yet if it were for choosing to represent a team..if I were not it in..it would break me...u see....all those grumpy and hard as ice me...i actually mellow...I am afraid that I would not be with the cool group..I will be at the end of the road and I actually did not take long to find anybody who wants to be close to me ...why ooo why... I have always been negative bout me...mums always said that I could get a better bf or better in a lot of things..but me...the old me..never believe that I could succeed in getting a handsome bf of anything...but when I come to this age..shame is nuthing I guess..Since getting married..I dont even care bout how I look like...(of coz makeup still plays a role in my life) what I mean is....when I was single...I so want to dress up..want people to adore me...and most importantly I would feel so shy if let say somebody (guys) look at my way...of coz...if comparing me to all the beyoootiful ladies out there I would not be winning but I guess I got sumething that they want to look.hahaa..or they just would like to say " hey u fat bitch..move out of my way" I was so low in my self esteem that I would be so shy whenever people see me..even if they are not saying anything....but now...I realised that..what I am doing is reflecting on my relationships...so I tend to not care what ever people say as long as my lovey dovey hubby is okay with it..I don't even care if people say anything bout me...as long as it doesn't come out from my hubby's mouth...and the truth is...when u know somebody really love u and appreciate u..u of coz will feels better bout it..he may not have a high education..may not own a sports car...may not even be the brightest man in the world..but I now he loves me so much..that he just shuts down all the negative things bout me...after all..I was a lil bit smaller than I am right now when he notice me...I was without my make ups...I was wearing a blue sweater in the middle of the afternoon..yet he's sees me....I may be bossy all the time and may be nagging him..but he knows...he really knows how I adore him and wish that even if I was a failure...he would be there for me....till end of time...I know rite now..its hard for him to gives me everything...I might not get myself a 5 years old belated birthday present and a hopeful and desperately need vacations but still he was there..through thick and thins. I love u hubby..even if its not our birthday or our anniversary...I will always love u.....and the failure in me actually ceased down when I met u......